Within the last couple years the DC area has become a burger city with new burger joints popping up seemingly everywhere.  Many are trendy chains coming from other cities, but some are our own local spots.  When it comes to these places (and I’m not talking about fancy steakhouses that serve amazing Kobe beef burgers), I see two distinct styles:

1. The thin patties grilled on a flat-top usually stacked 2+ high and loaded with toppings.
2. The thick patties usually grilled to the customer’s liking.  Sometimes these places load on the toppings, but most often they are more minimalist.

My opinion: #1 isn’t a true burger.  It is more like a ground beef patty sandwich.  The patties are dry and flavorless; and the toppings are really the show.  I’ve visited a few places that serve this style:

• Elevation Burger – They get credit for using real, whole ingredients.  Grass fed beef.  Fries cut from fresh potatoes.  They definitely know what food should be.  However… they are still serving scrawny bland burgers.  Put as much Elevation sauce and caramelized onions on those bad boys; they are still weak.  Of all the places on this list, I would still choose this one.  The real ingredients make them stand out from the rest.
• Shake Shack – This place came from NYC along with a TON of hype.  People lined up around the block to get into this place.  I finally made it there a couple weeks ago… to say I was disappointed is an understatement.  Thin dry patties and they don’t even have an abundance of toppings!  WTF is that?!  If you are going to serve this lame style of burger, at least give me some fancy stuff to load on top!  The fries were clearly frozen and out of a bag.  The shakes were good… I’ll give them that.
• Good Stuff Eatery – This is Spike Mendelsohn’s place.  Yeah, the guy from Top Chef, Top Chef All Stars, and Next Iron Chef Super Chefs.  With a resume like that, your burgers better be f-ing good.  How could they not be?!  Well, they’re not.  Small and dry.  Yes, there are lots of really interesting and delicious toppings and fry sauces… and the shakes are insanely good.  But is this a toppings, sauce, and shake place or a burger place?  I *think* it is a burger place.  And the burgers suck.  To be called an “All Star” and a “Super Chef” you better be able to make more than just sriracha mayo and a good milkshake.
• Five Guys – Listen, folks.  Let’s call a spade a spade.  Five Guys is fast food.  I don’t mean quick food.  I mean Five Guys belongs in the same sentence as McDonalds.  They are greasy and LOADED with crappy ingredients.  Grilled mushrooms on your burger?  Out of a can.  Jalapenos?  Canned.  Give me a break.  Like it if you want; but they don’t deserve the credit of being in the same breath as these other places.

Ok.  Now onto the good stuff… the real burgers.  Big fat juicy patties cooked just the way I like it.  I want beef juice running down my chin, not fancy sauce or jarred mushroom juice!  These places include:

• Bobby’s Burger Palace – I expected this place to be all hype.  I generally have low expectations when a celebrity chef of Bobby Flay’s caliber slaps his/her name on something.  But these burgers were gooood.  Big and juicy.  Cooked perfectly.  A tad salty for some palettes, but a burger is something that I like a little on the salty side.  The fancy toppings list seemed more exciting than they were on the burger.  Next time I would order something more basic and add the sauces on the table.  Oh, and the “crunchify” option – adding potato chips to the burger – was a nice touch.  Two thumbs up from me.
• Burger Joint (BGR) – Burger Joint deserves more credit than I ever hear it get.  They know burgers – all types of burgers.  Their beef burgers are always perfectly cooked.  The place looks unassuming and them BAM! The perfect burger lands on your plate.  BGR also makes an incredible turkey burger that is juicy and flavorful, qualities that are hard to achieve.  I’ve never had their veggie burger or tuna burger but have heard great things.  Love this place.  I wish it was closer… or maybe it is for the best that it is a few beltway exits away.
• Ray’s Hell Burger – The legend.  When people debate the best burgers in the DC area, they rarely even mention Ray’s.  Or it is in a sentence like “it was really good, but not Ray’s good.” It is in its own category.  I’ve never been to the Ray’s Hell Burger restaurant; they serve the burgers at the bar at Ray’s the Classics in Silver Spring so I go there.  This is burger perfection.  BIG.  Juicy.  Perfect burger-to-bun ratio.  Cooked to perfection every time.  EVERY. TIME.   I like my burger Diablo – grilled with a chipotle sauce.  Note: Not squirted on afterward; GRILLED with the sauce.  That means it is spicy and delicious, but also gets that yummy caramelization from the grill.  Oh man.  I need one of these burgers pronto.
• The Stage Burger Lounge – This is the new burger joint in Downtown Silver Spring brought to you by the owners of Pacci’s.  I’m going to go easy on them as I’ve only been once and they did *just* open.  The burgers were nice and big and juicy.  The woman who took my order didn’t ask me how I wanted my burger; I had to ask. She told my coworker that the standard is medium-well.  I would’ve been PISSED if I had received a medium-well burger. With a burger that size, I expect to be asked.  I ordered mine medium-rare… it was closer to rare which is ok for me, but others might have been put off.  In fact, I was with a coworker who is pregnant… she didn’t special order hers so it should’ve been medium-well (according to the server) but it was just as red as mine.  She ate around the edges and then gave up.  (Undercooked meat is a big no-no for preggers ladies!)  The burger needed more seasoning.  A lot more. It was on the bland side.  The toppings were just meh and the bun-to-burger ratio was noticeably off.  I got the hushpuppies and they were ok.  I’m from NC where they take hushpuppies very seriously… these would not pass muster there.  But for MD, I think they are just fine. Overall I give them a solid meh, but I’ll go back to give them another chance to tighten up the operation.  And frankly, this was still better than any of the burgers in list #1.

As for my favorite?  Definitely Ray’s no question.

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Chili was one of those things that always intimidated me.  I don’t know why.  I guess because people always talk about their “special” chili or their “secret” recipe.  People make a big friggin deal about making chili.  Sure, there are many different ways to make it and there is no one right way (hear that, Entire State of Texas?).  But I’ve gotta tell you… chili is just not that scary.

I clearly remember the first time I made chili.  Yeah, I’m a nerd like that.  My husband (then boyfriend) had a friend who had just gotten out of a bad relationship so he was hanging around more often than usual.  One Sunday he was coming over to watch football so I thought I’d attempt chili.  Football.  Winter.  Guys sitting in my living room. Seemed like chili was in order.

I took to the interwebs but there were too many options.  So I started thumbing through my cookbooks… I had a limited number back then, mostly ones that I received as gifts.  I did have one cookbook that I purchased for myself: Beat This! Cookbook: Absolutely Unbeatable Knock-’em-Dead Recipes for the Very Best Dishes and, as it turned out, there was a chili recipe that looked totally manageable!  Bingo!

The chili was made and the guys loved it.  No, neither were Texans but they both were dudes watching football on a cold winter day.  That counts for something, right?

Here’s the thing to know about chili… you want to keep your proportions right.  So you can substitute different types of meat, veggies, or even spices if you want.  Just keep the proportions right.  Adding more or less of anything can throw the flavor off.

This recipe is very easy, but prepping does take time.  There is a good bit of chopping involved.  I managed to find the time to make a big pot of chili by planning ahead.  On Saturday while my daughter was napping, I chopped everything and put it in the fridge.  On Sunday all I had to do was cook the meat and dump everything into the pot.  Plus, this giant pot of chili made 8 bowls — dinner for my husband and me for 4 nights.  So that meant a couple hours of work on the weekend for 4 nights off.  Totally worth it in my opinion.   Also, it reheats really well and freezes great.

Rockin’ Turkey Chili

• 2 large onions, chopped
• 1 large red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 3 fresh jalapenos, seeded and chopped fine (Want more heat? Leave the seeds in 1, 2 or all of the chilies.)
• 1 tbsp minced garlic
• 4 tbsp chili powder
• 2 tbsp ground cumin
• 2 tbsp fresh dill
• 1 tbsp dried basil
• 1 tbsp dried oregano
• 1 tbsp mild paprika
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 4 lbs ground turkey (You can use whatever you want.)
• 1 35 oz can tomatoes and their juice (or one 28 oz can and 1 15 oz can — whole tomatoes or diced. Whatever you want.)
• 1/2 cup hot salsa (Whatever you like)
• 1/4 cup gold tequila (Go with it!  Trust me!  The flavor is terrific!)
• 1 cup beer (I’ve been known to dump the whole bottle in.)
• 3 tbsp tomato paste
• salt to taste
• whatever accompaniments you like — cheese, sour cream, chives, etc

Chop/mince the onions, pepper, jalapenos, garlic and dill.  Measure all of your spices into a bowl.

Heat a pan and add a little oil.  Brown the turkey.  I usually season with a little salt and pepper.  Also be sure to break up the meat really well.  You might need to do this in two batches.  Once it is cooked, pour into a strainer to get rid of the liquid.

Heat a heavy pot or dutch oven over medium-high heat.  Add a little oil and saute the onions until they are soft.  Next add the pepper, jalapenos and garlic and cook just to soften.  Don’t let the garlic burn!

Add the spices and herbs and cook for just a minute to bring out their flavor.  Then add the turkey and stir it all together to combine.  This step helps integrate the spices into the meat, but it also ensures that you won’t see white bits of turkey in your chili… I hate that.

Next add the tomatoes, salsa, tequila, beer, and tomato paste.  If you want to skip the tequila, there’s nothing I can do about that other than to beg you not to.  So please don’t!  Pretty please!  Use the tequila!  It is delicious in this chili!  As for the beer… I like to use a brown or amber in this recipe.   Light beer doesn’t have enough flavor and dark beer has too much.  Just use something that you think tastes good because that flavor is going into your chili.

(Tomato paste tip: I hate how you buy a can and use a couple tablespoons and that’s it.  Put the leftovers into ice cube trays and freeze it.  I toss a few cubes into my chili and it was perfect.)

Stir it all together and bring to a boil.  Once it boils, reduce heat to low and continue to simmer for an hour.  Stir occasionally and taste along the way adding salt as necessary.

Cover or not? I use the lid to help control the wetness of the chili.  Leaving it on the whole time doesn’t let any liquid evaporate or concentrate the flavor.  Leaving it off, I find, makes it too dry.  So I usually leave it on for the first 20 min or so and then take it off while checking every few minutes. You can add water along the way to make it wetter (that’s why I usually just pour the whole beer in at the beginning).

Serve with whatever you like on top.

You’re going to love this chili.  I promise.  After serving my husband chili for dinner for 3 nights, I asked if he was getting tired of it.  ”No way… I could eat this every night.”  Seriously.  He said that.  Which was good because we still had another night to go.

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I’m a foodie.  I make a weekly menu for our home-cooked dinners, eat organic food and pride myself on the fact that my daughter has never had a jar of baby food. Ever.  Sure, I’ll eat out for lunch or order takeout for dinner on occasion and love Red Baron frozen pizza, but for the most part, I’m eating my homemade lunch on a daily basis, as is my 3 year old daughter.  Whole grains, fresh produce and a very very limited amount of snack food is how we roll in my household.  I am obsessive about watching the Food Network to get new ideas and I’ve been following Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution. I am a huge proponent of the cause he’s fighting for, which is primarily getting real food in our school systems across America.

I’ve watched two Jamie Oliver specials as he brings his “real food” message to the United States. Unfortunately he wasn’t as successful.  Jamie Oliver started this movement in England and it was received with open arms! It made a difference!   He does what he can to get parents involved and educate them by coming into their homes and teaching them how to cook healthy things; show them that cooking healthy and eating fresh food doesn’t have to be expensive can be done as quickly as going to a fast food restaurant; and of course sharing the health benefits of eating fresh food.

Most of the parents of the two US schools were obese as were their young children.  The parents seemed to react positively to this and backed Jamie Oliver’s food revolution of getting real food into their children’s schools.  Great!

Now, as for the parents who weren’t for this cause, I just don’t understand. Are they just too busy to pay attention or care what your kids are eating?  How moronic and idiotic can you be?  As people sit there with diabetes, watching their obese children shove fried and processed food in their mouths at school, just because it’s “easy” makes absolutely no sense to me.  Does it really take a brain surgeon to realize that eating fresh food is beneficial for your child’s health?!  Take your fat rump out of the equation and think about the future of your children!  If they are going to watch as their children become obese, partially because there are no healthy lunches as school, frankly speaking, they don’t deserve to be a parent.  While it is a harsh statement, I’m sure I am not alone in feeling this way.

As you can probably assume, the school boards didn’t feel the same way as Jamie and the food revolution didn’t have as big an impact as it did in England.  Apparently our school boards as well as the federal government felt that all the processed and fried food as well as strawberry and chocolate milk (which, by the way, has the same amount of sugar as a can of soda) were acceptable and perfectly healthy for children to eat on a regular basis.  Just a side note, I’m pretty sure that none of the kids of the school board members eat the school cafeteria lunches…I’m sure they have their sandwiches on whole grain bread with their fresh fruit accompaniment for lunch.  But, I digress.

Here is why we need to support the Food Revolution.  I know for a fact that there are some school districts in North Carolina (that’s where I live) that allow the KINDERGARTNERS to pick out their own lunch if they purchase it in the cafeteria.  I know of a child who doesn’t even order lunch.  He skips lunch and orders his strawberry milk and ICE CREAM every day, gets a sugar-high and then crashes.  How is he supposed to learn during the school day when he’s going solely on strawberry milk and ice cream?   I know what happens when my daughter has ice cream.  She’s a wild woman!  Imagine having a room full of kids who’ve had a bunch of junk food for lunch and then are expected to learn.  It isn’t just about nutrition – it is about education! How in the heck is this acceptable?  I find it hard to believe that parents don’t understand or aren’t educated well enough to know that eating junk food day-in and day-out is harmful; that it affects the way children learn and that drinking plain milk isn’t the end of the world?!  Why are parents not standing up to their school boards and insisting on healthier lunch options in grade school and getting away from all the junk?!

Now, I know there are some ridiculous people out there who say “why should the government tell me what I can and cannot eat?” Do these people not realize that they, the taxpayer are footing the bill for this disgusting food?  Kids are getting diabetes earlier than ever, becoming obese and having major other health issues on their dime!  I don’t know about you, but I would much rather pay a couple cents more and know that the kids, our future, are at least getting 1 healthy meal a day – the meal we are paying for.  We may have to pay a couple cents extra a day but that is a lot less than what we will be paying for kids who have major health issues and all of our healthcare costs go up because of it! So, for those people who don’t want government to “dictate” what their kids eat, I ask you this.  How moronic can you be?  Would you give your child money every single day and tell him/her to go to a fast food restaurant and pick out whatever they want to eat?  Why wouldn’t you want your child to have fresh produce, whole grains and plain milk *GASP*!! Would you allow them to pick out chicken nuggets and French fries with a Coke from a fast food restaurant on a daily basis?  I’m assuming the answer is no, and if it’s not, you need to give your kids up for adoption because you’re an idiot.

As you can probably tell, I am totally on board with trying to get real food in our schools.  I just read that Massachusetts schools will expel caffeinated drinks and sweets along with requiring schools to offer fruits and vegetables, whole grain bread and 100% fruit juices.  Now, I’m not sure about whether they still offer flavored milk (chocolate and strawberry), which as I stated earlier has the same amount of sugar as a soda, but hopefully they’ve banned that also.  Thank goodness a school board finally gets it!  Hopefully there will be many more schools to follow once they see the benefits of offering healthy choices (baked potato instead of fries, grilled chicken instead of fried, etc) to kids who want to do the right thing and make the right choices but aren’t given the opportunity.

I am officially off my soapbox… (for now)

1. It is a pasta recipe but it isn’t all heavy and boring and doused in a sauce from a can or jar.
2. It is fresh and light and delightful especially in the middle of winter when sometimes you just need a break from heavy stews.
3. It makes for a great quick dinner when you don’t really feel like cooking something big but you also aren’t ready to give up on the evening by eating cereal.
4. Got kids?  They’ll love it.  Got babies? The sauce could easily be baby food — depending on your baby’s age and taste, you could stop at any point to take some out for him/her.
5. It could totally be a pasta salad or side dish… great for a barbeque or pot luck.
6. This is a recipe where you can follow directions the first time and totally wing it from there.

Ok ok!  So ready to hear what it is?!  Rrrrrright after this commercial break!

Kidding.

This pasta… is slathered… in…

AN AVOCADO SAUCE!  Amazing, right?!  Oh man, this is my new favorite weeknight meal. Fresh, healthy yet quick and delicious.  You know what… I’ll stop talking and let the recipe speak for itself.  (It is so good!)

Creamy Avocado Pasta

Originally from Oh She Glows

• 1 medium sized ripe Avocado, pitted
• 1/2 lemon, juiced + lemon zest to garnish (I skipped the garnish… we ain’t* Rockefellers!)
• 2-3 garlic cloves, to taste (I used 3 and it was good and garlicky…your call)
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt, or to taste
• 1/4 cup Fresh Basil, (I guess this is optional but don’t opt out… just don’t)
• Extra virgin olive oil
• your choice of pasta (I suggest spaghetti or other long noodley type pasta)
• Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Cook your pasta according to the directions on the package.  While you wait for the water to boil or while the pasta is cooking, make the sauce.

Peel the garlic cloves and give them a rough chop just so they get a head start.  Chop the basil too.  Halve, pit and scoop the avocado.  Slice the lemon.  Zest it if you want to get all fancy-pants.

The original recipe added things to the food processor in stages.  I tossed it all in and it worked great.  Avocado, garlic, lemon juice, basic, a pinch of salt, a couple grinds of pepper and a drizzle of olive oil.  Whir until creamy.  Taste.  If it isn’t quite as creamy as you like, hold your horses.  I’ve got a trick for you that the original recipe left out…

When your pasta is almost done, take 2-3 spoonfuls (just a regular spoon, not a serving spoon) of the pasta water and add it to your avocado mixture.  It will thin it out just a tad making it more saucy and the starch gives it a little more body.  That’s a good trick to use when making any pasta sauce.

When the pasta is done cooking, drain and place it into a large bowl or back in the pot. Pour on sauce and toss until fully combined.  I added a little sprinkle of grated Parmesan which gave it a nice saltiness.  Feta would’ve been great too. Serve and devour immediately!

Incredible, right?!  Who wouldn’t like that?!  Terrorists, maybe.  But they would probably love it too.

[Note: While I usually make meals that last for multiple nights to save time, I didn't with this... I just made it two nights in a row.  I was worried that the avocado might turn brown so I figured I'd avoid that.  It might have been ok, though.  Also, I can't imagine this reheats very well although it would still be delicious served cold. ]

*Sorry I said “ain’t.”  I won’t do it again.

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First… what’s a food mill?  It is a tool that is used to puree food and/or as a sieve (I’ve heard it works great for spaetzle but I didn’t get a chance to try it yet).  The other cool thing about it is that it can remove the undesirable parts of a fruit or vegetable allowing it to become a silky smooth puree.  For example… if you put tomatoes in your food mill, it would separate the skins and seeds while it pressed the delicious flesh through the plates making a puree perfect for sauce.  Same with apples and their skin.  Same with the fibers in butternut squash (more on that below).  Same with steamed peas — yep, this bad boy will press the flesh out of the little pea shells allowing for smooth pea-ness.  Ok.  Bad word choice.  You know what I mean.  Pea… stuff.  Whatever.

Anyway…

When you turn the crank, the “blades” (which are more like a propeller as they aren’t sharp) press the food through the holes in the plate.  That’s it.  That’s all it does.  This is one of those contraptions that you know was invented before electricity and no one has never felt the need to improve upon it.  It just works.  Easily.  Perfectly. The food mill from the WEBstaurant Store has four plates with different size holes allowing you to control the texture of the food you’re pureeing.  It is all stainless so it is very easy to clean.

Before getting my hands on this food mill, I had never actually used one.  I have a blender, food processor and immersion blender — I thought that was enough.  But with those tools I may get a lump or two in soup that should be silky smooth; my tomato sauce is full of seeds, and I will almost certainly get gluey mashed potatoes.  And now the tiny person who has moved into my house needs perfectly pureed food.  Demanding!  So I turned to the food mill.

Let’s talk about butternut squash.  I got a BIG one in my last CSA box and roasted it whole (about an hour at 425 degrees until soft).  I wanted to make baby food with it (more on my baby food making adventures here) — regardless of what you want to do with your puree (it would make an incredible soup or pie filling), you make it the same way.  After roasting, I scooped out the inside and put it in the food mill.  Then I started cranking, stopping every so often to push the good stuff back down under the blades.  By the time I was done, I had a beautiful smooth puree in a bowl and all the fibers that I never really noticed before still in the food mill.  Perfect.

Next up… fun with the largest plate (I wanted some texture with this). I boiled some sweet potatoes, and cooked some apples and cranberries in a pot.  When they were all done, I put them all through the food mill and made a delicious fall puree that I like to call swappleberry sauce (TM).

So… do you want a food mill of your own?  I happen to have a food mill sitting right here with YOUR name on it!  Well, only one of you.  Leave a comment here or on my Facebook page telling me why you deserve this food mill!  Bonus points for humor!  (Ok, truth is… I’m going to choose at random. I just like to laugh.)  I will be CLOSING THE GIVEAWAY ON JANUARY 10! You must comment by JANUARY 10!

Hands down the best thing I have made with my food mill has been this incredible soup.

Sweet Potato Soup With Maple Black Pepper Whipped Cream

Soup:

• 2-3 lbs sweet potatoes or other hard winter squash (butternut, hubbard, etc)
• 1 large sweet onion
• 3 cloves garlic (optional — but definitely opt in!)
• 4 cups vegetable stock (that’s one box if you’re buying pre-made)
• salt and pepper
• olive oil

Peel and chop the potatoes and put into a large pot.  Cover with cold water and bring to a boil.  Once the water is boiling cook for 15-20 minutes or until the potatoes are soft.  Drain the water.

Chop the onion and saute in olive oil over medium heat.  Chop the garlic and add to the onions.  Saute until the onions are translucent.  (Don’t let the garlic burn!)

Using the smallest plate in the food mill, puree the potatoes, onions and garlic.  Press them all through the food mill!  Everyone in the big metal pool together! Yes, the onions and garlic too.  This worked great… the flavor of the onion and garlic was definitely in the potatoes.  The food mill pressed all the delicious flavor through the plate without a single chunk.

Once the puree is done, add the vegetable stock — first add 2 cups and warm through.  Then add more stock until you get to the consistency that you want.  You could add just a little and stop making a smooth puree as a side dish.  But for it to be a soup, keep adding.  I ended up using all 4 cups.

This soup was delicious just like this — simple and healthy.  (Great dish to add to your resolution menu!) The texture was incredible.  Like velvet.  No, seriously.  Velvet.  This is a great soup to make and freeze for cold winter days when you don’t feel like cooking.

If you want to go even farther, here’s the recipe for the topping:

• 1 cup whipping cream (you could totally use yogurt if you want to go healthy on this)
• 3 tbsp maple syrup
• 1 tbsp black pepper (or to taste)

Pour the whipping cream into a large bowl and beat until it forms stiff peaks.  You want it to be the texture of, well, whipped cream.  Duh.  Next fold in the maple syrup and black pepper.  I recommend adding the pepper a little at a time.  I think I ended up using 2 teaspoons or so.

Put at dollop on a bowl of the hot soup and stir it in.  It adds a great creaminess and complexity to the soup — sweet from the maple, zesty from the pepper, but all so smooth with the help of the food mill.

**Disclaimer: I got a free food mill from The WEBstaurant store to test for this post. I was not obligated to like it… I did that on my own.

Ah, the holidays… whatever holiday it is that you celebrate (or just the holiday called “Quiet Time in the Office”), I think it is safe to assume that your holiday is overflowing with deliciousness.  Friends hosting parties; family gathering for dinners; coworkers bringing treats to share.  Whether sweet or savory, this time of year screams FOOD.  (And that means my pants scream LOOSEN ME.) However you choose to celebrate – or not celebrate – this time of year, let’s talk about some ways to make sure your holiday season doesn’t scream BARF-HUMBUG!

Around Thanksgiving we talked about safely handling raw meat.  Quick! Do we rinse our turkeys or not?  I hope you said NOT.  This time of year I think we need to talk about eggs and Salmonella.  That unexciting ingredient that goes into cookies, cakes and other sweet treats, and let’s not forget about latkes, a Chanukah staple, and of course eggnog.  I don’t know about you, but I often quickly add them and move on to the more exciting ingredients like chocolate chips!  Let’s take a step back and think about those eggs.

Shell eggs (ie, eggs in their shells as opposed to the egg product in a carton – more on this below) are not pasteurized.  That means they can contain Salmonella.  There are regulations in place that mandate certain procedures to clean the outside of eggs sold commercially so you’re good there.  The issue is that Salmonella can live inside the shell.  That means we have to be careful.

Here are a few suggestions to make sure you aren’t contaminating your kitchen:

1. When handling raw egg, you should think of it like raw meat.  Would you rub your raw chicken all over your countertops?  Would you get raw chicken on your hand, wipe it on your dishtowel and just move on without washing with soap and water?  I hope not.  And if you do, please don’t invite me over for dinner.  After you crack your eggs into the bowl, wash your hands and anything else you touched.  Wash with water AND soap.  Come on.  Will these soaps that look like bacterial cultures help make hand washing more fun?
2. Now don’t forget that whatever you just mixed your egg into has raw egg in it.  Did that sound like the most obvious statement ever?  Then why would you roll cookie dough out on your counter, cut out your adorable Rudolph cookies, line them up like a reindeer army marching across your baking sheet, and then NOT wash your hands again and anything else you touched including the counter?  I mean, really people!  If your eggs are contaminated, you just shmeared Salmonella all over the place and *bing bong* your guests are here and not interested in eating your Salmonella cookies while gathered around your Salmonella countertops.  Do everything you possibly can to NOT cross contaminate.
3. Ok.  Now we need to have a difficult talk.  This won’t be easy for either of us to discuss but it is necessary.  Eating raw cookie dough.  I know, I know… it is delicious.  I’m right there with you!  So I’m not going to tell you not to eat raw cookie dough.  I know you’ll stop reading right now and brush me off as the mean lady who ruined your favorite indulgence.  What I am going to tell you is that you have to lick those delicious spoons at your own risk.  Just like with raw meat or fish, it could make you sick.  Any egg could contain Salmonella.  Just because you got it at Fancy Pants Grocery doesn’t mean it is exempt from contamination.  Officially we don’t recommend eating raw cookie dough.  Unofficially? You decide if you feel it is worth the risk.  I would strongly discourage you from letting your kids, an elderly friend or relative or anyone with a compromised immune system have it.  In that case, it probably is not worth the risk.  Salmonella is potentially very dangerous.  And to those of you tough guys who are like, “Oh, I eat raw cookie dough all the time and I’m still alive!”  You may get sick – you may not get sick.  But ask any person who has ever contracted Salmonella and they will likely tell you about the time when they wish they weren’t alive as they slept on the bathroom floor cuddled up to the toilet.
4. As I already mentioned, most shell eggs are not pasteurized but egg product is. Egg product is the stuff that comes in cartons.  Many restaurants use egg product for that reason – Pasteurized! No lawsuit!  Hooray!  If you’re making sauces that call for raw egg (Caesar dressing, hollandaise, béarnaise, etc), using egg product is safer.  Some egg product won’t work well for baking so check the side of the carton first.  It will tell you.
5. Make sure things are cooked all the way through.  You’re not going to stick a meat thermometer in every cookie and latke, but you can still check to make sure they aren’t raw in the center.  You want the chocolate chips to be gooey, not the cookie part.  And when frying latkes, be sure your pan isn’t too hot so they cook through before the outside burns.  In both cases, break one in half to check the center.  Oh, and you know those delicious runny sunny side up eggs you love to dip your toast in?  Yeah, those aren’t cooked all the way through.  Just like with the cookie dough, eat at your own risk.
6. Don’t drink unpasteurized eggnog.  You can get pasteurized eggnog, so why risk it?  Friends don’t let friends drink unpasteurized eggnog and hold their own hair back… if you know what I mean.

As GI Joe said, “Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.”  He was obviously referring to safe food handling when he said that.

Why do we go to so much trouble to entertain and be entertained this time of year?  Because it is nice.  Because seeing people enjoy cookies and latkes that you made makes you feel good. You know what won’t make you feel good?  Seeing people snacking on thumbprint cookies with a dollop of Salmonella in the center where a Hershey kiss should be.   That won’t end well for anyone.

Then I saw the perfect idea.  I don’t remember where, but that doesn’t matter.  I spotted a recipe for truffles.  Could I, the cook who screws up all-things-baked, handle something so fancy and sophisticated as truffles?!  I read the recipe… I judged it.  Truffles have been parading around and being so superior, so extra-ordinary, so… uppity!  I just assumed they were hard to make.  You know… the kind of recipe where it is like “melt the chocolate until it is shiny but not one millisecond longer or you will burn it making it inedible but using it one millisecond too soon will result in an underdone disaster.”  Turns out truffles have been misleading us.  They’ve been prancing around like they’re all awesome but really they’re simple just like cookies… no no, even more simple than that.  Stupid simple.  Yeah, truffles, I said it.

Now, I won’t lie… truffles take a good amount of time but they’re very easy to make.  It would be a great thing to make on a date or with your kid, actually.  Or as holiday gifts so that everyone you give them too will think you’re way more awesome than you are.  That’s my favorite kind of gift to give.

Chocolate Truffles With Sea Salt

This recipe is from The Pioneer Woman

• 8 ounces, weight (up To 9 Oz.) Good Semisweet Chocolate (I used Ghirardelli)
• 8 ounces, weight (up To 9 Oz.) Good Bittersweet Chocolate
• 1 can (14 Oz) Sweetened Condensed Milk
• 1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
• 8 ounces, weight Semisweet Chocolate for melting (The original recipe called for milk chocolate but I’m not a fan — you use whatever you want. White chocolate, although totally blasphemous, would work too.  Oh, and chips melt better for this.)
• Sea Salt

I’m sure it will come as no surprise that I chose an Asian cooking class.  I am, after all, obsessed with Asian food.  The class was called Advanced Asian Flavors… that’s right, advanced.  You had to already know stuff about cooking.  Pin a rose on my nose, I am advanced.

The course listing had the menu:

• Hot and sour soup with shrimp (Not Chinese hot and sour soup, as I thought… this was Tom Yum soup)
• Mussels in green curry
• Imperial summer roll
• lemongrass grilled pork with noodles, peanuts, and salad
• Duck kaprow with jasmine rice (one of my favorite Thai dishes)
• Mango sticky rice

The first thing the chef did was divide us into groups and give each group two recipes to prepare.  I was kind of pissed.  I wanted to cook ALL of the recipes!  Stomps feet, sticks out bottom lip, and crosses arms. Whatever.  He immediately points to three people in the front and said, “You mentioned duck before… how about you be the duck group?”  But…but…but I wanna be in the duck group!  Stomps feet, sticks out bottom lip, and crosses arms.

I was put in the mussels/mango sticky rice group.  It actually turned out that my group’s dishes were heavily focused on proper knife skills which was good.  (The chef totally had us do fancy knife cuts on the ingredients going into the curry just to teach us… the ingredients all went into a blender.) I can always use some more practice on technique.   And as the other groups asked questions about their dishes, the chef made sure to let everyone in the class know that they could come listen.  So I got to spend some time learning how to work with duck which is good… since the one time I tried to break down a duck I broke my knife.  Oops.

Even though the class was recreational it was in the professional school so the kitchen was AWESOME.  Big-ass super hot burners… stainless everything… heavy duty machinery… I felt like Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor in a hardware store.  No joke I put my curry on to simmer and it came to a boil in under 2 minutes. I had some mushrooms to slice, so I thought I’d go ahead and get the curry on.  Not so much.

So I’ve got to tell you about my group… damn, my group…  I always hated group projects in school.  Someone either did nothing and still got a good grade because everyone else did the work OR they totally screwed it up for everyone.  My group members were NOT advanced.  One lady didn’t know how to peel garlic without one of those silicone rolly things.  Fine if you want to use those at home, but at least know how to do it with a knife!  Then she goes, “Oh my gosh… I got the nicest new knives yesterday at Costco.  They have all different color handles!” COME ON!  We’re Advanced Asians here!

The chef came over to show us how to do the mango.  He showed us how to peel it and slice it thinly and then to splay it out all pretty on the plate so the rice could sit in the center. These girls… (pause while I shake my head)… these girls were so bad at this.  One girl dug her finger tips so hard into the top of the mango that she mangled it to the point that it was unusable.

SO THEN… I was over chatting with the duck group about how they made the duck kaprow and I see the chef go look at my pretty mango plates so I start heading back.  He says to the mango-squisher, “Did you do this?”  And she says…get this, “Yes!  I used the techniques you showed me!”  Uhhh… WHAAAT?!  The nerve!  I was too far away to do anything about it.  I was PISSED.  If this had been real school I totally would’ve said something to her or to the chef just to get some credit for my work, but I let it go (well, I let it go at that moment and have continued to bitch about it ever since… that’s “letting it go” right?).

All in all, the class was awesome.  It was super cool to cook in a professional kitchen and it was cool to get tips from a chef.  Plus, I learned that fancy mango trick which I am TOTALLY doing again to impress people.  The sticky rice was good but too sweet (we all agreed).  If I made it on my own, I would use way less sugar.

Oh, and the mussels… that was a super easy dish to make other than all the chopping.  The chef said you can make a big batch of curry and freeze it in batches which I am definitely going to do.  It was a delicious dish!  I think it was my favorite out of all of them.

Mussels with Green Curry

Green curry paste:

• 2 stalks lemon grass cut finely
• 1 tablespoon galangal (ginger would work fine)
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1/2 cup chopped cilantro
• 8 cloves of garlic roughly chopped
• 10 green Thai chili peppers sliced
• 10 green Jalapeno peppers sliced
• 1 tsp shrimp paste
• 1 tbsp chopped shallot
• zest from 3 limes

Everything else:

• 2 cups coconut milk
• 3 lbs fresh mussels
• 1/4 cup fish sauce
• 3 tsp sugar
• 1 cup bamboo shoots
• 1/2 cup coconut cream
• 6 kaffir lime leaves
• 1/4 cup Thai basil
• red chili for garnish

Place all the green curry past ingredients in a blender or food processor and process until the mixture is smooth.

Pour the coconut milk and the green curry paste into a large sauce pan.  Heat to boiling and add the bamboo shoots and any other vegetables (we used mushrooms) and simmer for an additional 2 minutes — not longer (the chef told us that the flavors in the curry will fade if you cook it too long).

Add the mussels, fish sauce, and sugar.  Cook covered for 4 minutes over high heat.

Add the kaffir lime leaves and basil leaves and adjust the seasoning.  Move to a serving bowl and garnish with slivers of red chili.  Be sure to get that delicious broth when serving!

Coconut Milk Sticky Rice with Mango

• 3 cups sweet rice, soaked overnight in water or thin coconut milk and drained
• 2 cups canned or fresh coconut milk
• 3/4 cup palm sugar or substitute brown sugar (this made it very sweet… I would use less, maybe even half)
• 1 tsp salt
• 4 ripe mangoes or substitute sliced ripe peaches or papaya
• Mint or Thai basil

Steam the sticky rice until tender.  Use a cous cousier or other steamer.  It is convenient to place the uncooked rice in a layer of cheese cloth so that the rice and be turned and manipulated while hot.  Depending on the technique, it may help to turn the rice midway through steaming to insure the rice cooks evening.

Just before the rice is cooked, begin heating the coconut milk in a heavy pot over medium heat.  Do not boil.  Add the sugar and salt and stir to dissolve completely.

Once cooked, turn the rice out into a large mixing bowl.  Pour a cup of the hot coconut milk mixutre over the rice and reserve the rest. Stir the coconut milk mixture into the rice and allow the rice to stand for 20 minutes to allow the flavors to blend.

To serve, spoon a serving of rice into a shallow bowl.  Drizzle with some of the remaining coconut milk mixture.  Garnish with slice of mange and sprigs of the mint or Thai basil.

Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate family and friends, enjoy the fall harvest, and to stuff our faces full of delicious food.  No matter your specific traditions, I’m certain the stuffing-of-faces is common across all Thanksgiving tables.

I must confess, I’ve never prepared a full Thanksgiving meal although I have contributed dishes.  When I cook any time of year, not just for Thanksgiving, I have two goals: 1) Make delicious food and 2) Not make people sick.  Both require following some simple rules – for #1, a recipe.  For #2, a set of rules that I’ve learned from my colleagues on the Food Safety Team at APHL. Rules that effectively put bacteria on a stake in your front yard as a warning to all other bacteria saying “You are not welcome here! You will be cooked properly!”  Not following these rules means inviting Auntie Campylobacter and Cousin Salmonella to your table.  Unless you would like to spend the best shopping weekend of the year doubled over with a fever, diarrhea, and abdominal cramps, pay attention.  And, truth be told, these rules don’t just apply to Thanksgiving.

Roughly half of all meat in the US is contaminated with some sort of bacteria.  While that is pretty gross, it is also pretty easy to address.

1. DO. NOT. RINSE.  Did you hear me?  Don’t listen to your grandmother and her grandmother and all the grandmothers who tell you to rinse your poultry.  DO NOT RINSE YOUR POULTRY.  I’ve got science on my side on this one, Grandma!  Rinsing your poultry – any bird, not just turkey – can actually cause bacteria to aerosolize (how’s that for an image?) and spread around your kitchen up to three feet! Three feet!  That’s really far!  Within three feet of my sink, I have my spice rack, cooking utensils, coffee pot and my baby’s bottles sitting on a drying rack.  What is within three feet of your sink?  Yeah… gross, huh? Plus, it is completely unnecessary.  Rinsing poultry does nothing to get rid of most bacteria – the bacteria that it does eliminate are now splashing around your kitchen.  What does eliminate bacteria? Proper cooking (we’ll get to that).  We aren’t the only ones who will tell you this.  Our friend, USDA, agrees.   And, from a cook’s perspective, you really want a dry skin on your poultry so it can get nice and crispy.
2. Avoid cross contamination.  When you handle that big beautiful bird, make sure nothing else is around.  You don’t want any of those raw turkey juices getting on anything that you can’t immediately clean.  If Tom needs to be trimmed, use a separate cutting board and knife than you plan to use for your veggies.  Did you happen to see Dr. Richard Besser on The Chew last week talking about safe food handling?  Cross contamination can happen to the best of us, but we should do everything we can to prevent it.
3. Wash your hands.  Wash your hands.  Wash your hands.  What was that?  Wash your hands.  You cannot wash your hands too much while handling raw meat.  Think about everything you touch while preparing food – utensils, towels, the countertop, your clothes, your body (why does my nose always itch when I’m cutting up chicken?), even the soap dispenser.  Washing your hands properly will help keep all that bacteria from making its way onto every item in your kitchen.  And if it does get on another surface, wash it.
4. Don’t thaw your turkeysicle on the counter.  The raw turkey needs to be kept at 40 degrees.  If you thaw it on the counter, the outside (the part that is defrosting the fastest) will likely get warmer than 40 degrees and therefore become more susceptible to bacteria.  Thaw your turkey either in the fridge or in cold water.  Yes, it takes a very long time to thaw a big bird that way so be prepared!  Here is a handy chart with thawing times.  Another good tip – put your turkey in a dish while it sits in the fridge.  You would hate to find out about that tiny hole in the plastic while it is defrosting… a flood of raw turkey juices in your fridge is not so pretty.  Er, so I’ve heard.
5. Cook your turkey to a safe temperature – which also means getting a good meat thermometer.  All poultry should be cooked to 165 degrees.  We’ll talk about stuffing next, but if you plan to cook your stuffing inside of your turkey that means it also needs to be cooked to 165 degrees.  It is that simple, folks.  Pay no attention to those popper things that come in the turkey.  Check the temperature yourself.  Unlike with your kids, you actually want your turkey to have a fever of 165. Recipe
6. Let’s talk about stuffing.  First of all, I’m from the South where we call it dressing.  For the sake of food safety, we should all call it dressing.  Why?  Because stuffing can be unsafe because it is stuffing.  Let’s break this down… you fill the cavity of the bird with stuffing so that Tom’s delicious juices add great flavor to your stuffing.  Correct?  As we discussed above (see points one through, well, all of them), Tom’s juices are loaded with bacteria.  Those bacteria are now in your stuffing in the center of the turkey, the part that is farthest from the heat source and therefore takes the longest to reach a safe temperature (165 degrees).   So you have two choices.  You could: 1) Cook the turkey to its perfect temperature while it is still perfectly moist, serving it with the stuffing that is not cooked to the perfect temperature and therefore at risk of carrying bacteria that is going to send your guests home with a party favor they did NOT ask for, or 2) Cook the bird and the stuffing until the stuffing in the center is cooked to a safe temperature thus overcooking and drying out your turkey.  If I had to pick from those options – undercooked stuffing or overcooked turkey – I’d choose… tofuky.  There are two secret options that mean everybody wins.  Either 1) Cook your stuffing separately.  Use a delicious, rich stock (chicken, turkey, or vegetable) to add the flavor you’re looking for.  I promise it will taste good.  Or 2) Cooking the stuffing in the bird, remove it, and continue cooking it outside of the turkey until it reaches a safe 165 degrees.  Recipe
7. Avoid BPAs.  Now, this next “rule” is really more of a suggestion.  I think by now most people know that canned goods have a liner that often contains Bisphenol A or BPA.  We buy BPA free water bottles and BPA free toys for our kids yet somehow on Thanksgiving all of that knowledge of BPAs goes out the window because, goshdarnit, we Americans love our canned cranberry sauce.  If it isn’t still in the shape of the can complete with rings, we don’t want it!  Myself included!  Well, not anymore.  I didn’t order harmful chemicals with my cranberry sauce, thanks.  Make it yourself from fresh or frozen cranberries.  It is easy and delicious… and much safer.  Recipe

Remember the two goals I mentioned at the beginning – making delicious food and not making people sick?  They can both happen at the same time by following some simple rules.  When it comes to safe food handling, it is all about awareness.  Be aware of cross contamination, what you touch, and the internal temperature of your food.  Follow these rules and your guests will be thankful that they didn’t learn the word “campylobacter” for the first time while at your house.

I’m not a vegetarian nor is my husband.  We both love a good hunk of steak.  I cook my fair share of meat, but I also try to cook as much as I can without it.  Skipping the meat is definitely healthier plus I think it is easier — no marinating for hours, no worry about doneness, no hassle at all really.  When I can come up with a meal that is filling enough to omit the meat, I do it.  The key word there is “filling.”  A vegetarian meal isn’t always as hearty as I would want, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.  Don’t roll your eyes at me, meat eaters!

This is going to be tough but I’m going to sell you on this idea.  Not only that, but we’re going to get into some seriously advanced vegetarian stuff… tempeh.  Don’t leave!

Tempeh is made from fermented soy beans, but unlike its cousin tofu it uses the whole bean making it healthier for you.  Also like its cousin tofu, it has no flavor until you give it some.

For some reason, I found tempeh to be very intimidating. I’ve cooked tofu for years (only recently really getting it right, I’ll admit), but tempeh made me nervous.  I knew I liked the flavor, but I thought cooking it seemed difficult.  I could not have been more wrong.  Tofu is much more difficult to handle.

I’m going to share the recipe I used the first time I made tempeh.  After following this recipe once, I realized that no recipe is needed.  I now make a marinade of Asian sauces (maybe some soy, mirin, chili sauce, and a splash of rice wine vinegar — stuff I always have in my fridge) off the cuff.

Sweet and Savory Tempeh

• 2 (8-ounce) packages tempeh, each cut crosswise into 4 pieces
• 1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
• 1/4 cup maple syrup (I used less just to keep it healthier)
• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon (or to taste) chili sauce or red pepper flakes (I recommend Sriracha) — optional

Mix the soy sauce, syrup, garlic, ginger, and chili sauce.  Cut the tempeh into cubes and toss in the sauce.  Allow to marinade for as long as you can up to 2 hours.  I put it in the marinade when I get home from work and cook it maybe 30 minutes to an hour later when I’m ready.  Toss the tempeh in the marinade from time to time so every cube gets some of that flavor.

Note: I bought tempeh from Trader Joe’s and tempeh from Whole Foods; they were different.  The Whole Foods tempeh sucked up all of the marinade in no time.  The Trader Joe’s tempeh didn’t but it still had ample flavor.  Just be aware that different tempeh may react differently.

Heat a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. I wouldn’t use nonstick for this unless it is your only choice.  I used my cast iron and it worked great.  Put a little oil in the pan.  Once it is hot, add the tempeh cubes (not the remaining marinade yet!).  Once they brown on one side (it takes just a couple minutes if your pan is hot), turn them to brown on another side.  Keep doing this until they are fulling browned.

If you want to make other veggies for a stir fry, remove the tempeh from the pan and saute the other veggies.  (I used an onion from my CSA and some frozen shelled edamame last time and it was great.)  Once the veggies are cooked, return the tempeh to the pan and toss everything together in the remaining marinade.  As I mentioned earlier, the Whole Foods tempeh sucked up all of my marinade so I had to make more for the sauce.

Tempeh has this great nutty flavor and its texture is almost like a cube of brown rice.  It has some bite to it unlike tofu.  And unlike tofu you don’t have to press any water out of it or really prep it in any way before marinating.  It gets nice and browned very quickly giving it great flavor.

It is a quick, easy and healthy meal to make on a week night.  Plus it is delicious.  I’m a big fan and my husband is an even bigger fan!  Tempeh has quickly become a fridge staple in my house.