I wasn’t going to do this but now I am. Dear Top Chef: In your first episode of the season, you successfully jumped the shark. Well done. Jerks.
In case you missed it, Top Chef decided to make us watch the final portion of their casting process. In the first episode we watched them cast 11 of the 16 chefs for the season which means we get to watch more of this nonsense next week when they fill the rest of the spots. Sure, American Idol does that but those poor kids are so terrible and ambitious that it is entertaining. This was just plain boring. Huge egos coming in, cooking one dish, and being told to turn their tails around and go home. Why is that good tv? Why do I need to see that? I don’t. That’s the answer. (Ok, watching that douchebag get sent home mid-terrible-butchering was entertaining. I did enjoy that.)
In that hour of tv we didn’t really get to know anyone. We didn’t really get to see how they prepared their dishes or even get to understand what their dishes were. Here is what I did find out:
- That big dude who was in jail is a giant ball of scary and lovable all in one which I kind of dig.
- Grayson makes a better lady name than dude name which I never expected.
- Curly hair does NOT make a good mohawk. (Per MamaPop: “…looks like someone applied his hair with a piping bag.” Word.)
- Ink is required to be a good chef… even if you look like a 12 year old (I’m talking to you, Chuy.)
That’s about it.
I’ve never been a big fan of the overly dramatic reality contest shows (Bachelor, Survivor, Amazing Race, etc) but do love the cooking contest shows. Top Chef was always like the cool, mature older brother to the other shows. It was about cooking; quality, high-level cooking. There was drama and there were personalities, sure, but the star of the show was COOKING. Now with this new set up, it is stooping to the level of those other dumb contest shows: all drama all the time.
I am interested in really seeing some of these chefs cook. Those guys from Moto, for example… I watched Homaro Cantu and Ben Roche on Future Food and was fascinated. I really want to see more crazy stuff from Chris Jones and Richie Farina. Chuy Valencia was a protege of Rick Bayless who I love. But I guess I have to sit through another stupid casting episode before I can actually start watching these chefs get serious.
Look, Top Chef, I’ve got a sh*tload of stuff to do in a day. By the time my kid is asleep and I have some free time I do not have the patience for crappy television. I’ve already axed other shows from my DVR so don’t think I won’t axe you. Step it up, bitches, or I’m done for good.